It’s just hair … it’s just hair

Somebody tell me it’s just hair. Ben decided he wanted to have his head shaved like his Dad’s.  I gave my blessing … and changed my mind halfway through. I miss his little curls already. He loves it, though!!

That’s right

Listening to Ben and Emma playing Twister:

Emma: Ben, is this my right hand?

Mommy: Emma, it’s the hand you write with.

Emma: Well, then, I need a pencil and a piece of paper.

Mommy (exasperated, as we’ve covered this for years): Emma, which hand do you use to write?

Emma: My right hand.

Mommy (less exasperated, stifling a giggle): Ok, which hand is your right hand?

Emma (raises her left hand):  This one?

(On another note … Ben and Emma were playing Twister together!! They were playing together … laughing … having fun. For about a week now, Ben has been doing soooo much better. His tics and contortions have all but disappeared. He’s been a little affectionate. He’s lucid and much calmer. I don’t know if it’s his typical cycling, or a change in meds, or all your prayers, but I’m so very thankful. I had started believing I’d never be able to get through to him again. I don’t know how long this phase will last, but I’m trying to soak it in and make the most of it.

Oh, and a final pneumonia update: After two ER visits, one after-hours clinic visit, and a TON of meds, his asthma doc finally gave him the all-clear yesterday. He’s still going to be on some stiff meds for a few weeks, to make sure he doesn’t relapse, but his lungs are finally clear. YAY!)

Dash!

Emma had her first track meet tonight. She hadn’t made it to any practices yet, so it was all very new to her … and she came home with three first-place ribbons in her age group! 🙂  She really enjoyed herself, and really enjoyed getting those ribbons! She was a little annoyed that they made her run with all the “little kids.” I explained that they’re all her age … she’s just a lot taller than they are. Which probably accounts for the blue ribbons. 😉

Celebrate!

So I’ve been thinking back to some of my more memorable birthdays. Like the birthday when I had my first and only surprise party. It was such a surprise, I didn’t show up and missed the whole thing. 🙂 It was my 18th birthday, my senior year of high school. My small but mighty Spanish IV class, led by the coolest profesora ever, Carmina Brown, threw me a surprise party, cake and all, during our class period.  What they didn’t know was that my mom had decided to let me skip school that day to go shopping with her (you rock, Mom!). So they partied without me and let me have it the next day. 😉

Spanish IV: Martha Sue, Victor, Robin, Deanna, Shana, me

Then there was the year I turned 16. I’d hoped for a car. Boy, was I not disappointed! After a lunch of pizza with my friend, my folks blindfolded me and walked me out to the driveway, where a bright red 1984 Pontiac Fiero sat waiting for me. I love, love, loved that car.

Me and Big Red

And then there were the various birthday parties my folks threw for me when I was younger. What happy memories, of party hats and Kool Aid and sleepovers. 🙂

Turning 9

Turning 10

11, I think

My folks always made a big deal out of our birthdays. I remember as a kid, thinking that everybody in the world revered the 20th of May. As I got older, I realized that it was pretty much just me. 😉 I’ve known folks over the years who downplay their birthdays, or prefer not to celebrate them at all. I just can’t get my brain around that.  Maybe it’s because of the importance my folks always put on celebrating our birthdays. Maybe it’s because, as I got older, I heard stories about how I came to be – a year after my mom miscarried, and after my own harrowing breech delivery in the days before C-sections. Maybe it’s that after these 39 years, I understand that each day here on earth brings me closer to my eternal home, and I long to make the best of my time here, not taking any of it for granted. Maybe it’s all of the above. Whatever it is, I look forward to celebrating another birthday with the ones I love!!

Mom took pics of me on my birthdays 1-18.

Pneumonia update

Ben was quite a bit better today. He still has a bad cough and congestion, but his color is much better, and he’s eating well. All the meds he’s on are making him … edgy. As a matter of fact, the he hardly slept at all Thursday night when he came home from the E.R., as they’d pumped so many things into him. That image of a sleeping invalid? Wipe that right out of your mind! He’s all over the place, which complicates things, because we’re supposed to be limiting his activity. So while I’m glad that he feels well enough to run around, I keep fussing at him to be still. Anyway, he saw his asthma doc on Friday, who said to continue the meds the E.R. docs had given him and come back in one week. Doc said if he gets any worse between now and then, we’d need to have him admitted to the hospital, but I don’t anticipate that happening. He seems to be turning around nicely.

And more Ben news

Poor little Ben has pneumonia. He started feeling bad Monday night, having caught a bug from Emma. Because of his asthma, it turned bad quickly. Jared is with him now, waiting to be discharged from the E.R. We’ll follow up with his asthma doctor in the morning.

He cracked me up as he was getting ready to leave for the E.R. He turned to Emma and started bequeathing all his belongings to her. Then he turned to me and solemnly said, “It’s ok, Mommy. I’m going to be ok. I’ll be back.” You’d think it was his first trip to the E.R.! He’s been probably a dozen times. 😛

Anyway, since I suspect he’s worked his way into the hearts of some of you bloggies, I thought I’d let you know so you can be praying for a quick recovery and no more complications. He has pretty severe asthma, and his lungs are very fragile. Thanks!

In her words – Emma’s New York journal

Emma decided to keep a journal on our trip to New York. She made all the entries by herself, and illustrated it, as well. Following is our trip, in her words, my spelling. 🙂

When you are in an airport it is crowded. You have to go on a Jet Blue. I can’t wait to go. We had to pick a restaurant. We are going to New York. I can’t wait to go to New York so much. This is our hotel.

We are on the airplane. It is filled with people. It is going to be a long time. So now we have landed in New York. We rode in a taxi. We saw lots of things to see. So we are at our hotel. And we are in the lobby. We are in the room. We went to walk to see stuff. I like this town a lot. I miss my pets. We went to go to Toys R Us. We saw a ferris wheel.

This is our third day in New York. We went to go to the Statue of Liberty. We went to go on a ferry. It was fun. And we went to go to a restaurant at Liberty Island. Tomorrow we are going to do lots of stuff.

We went to go to the museum. We saw dinosaurs and we saw snakes and we went to the butterflies. We went the wrong way so we had to go on a taxi. Then we were at home. Then we watched a little TV. Then we went to sleep. Then we woke up in the morning and we watched a little TV. Then we did some school.

Soon we have to go home. We will go on the plane. Then Papa will pick us up on the plane so we will ride home. Soon we will be home with our pets. We are almost there. I can’t wait.

Finally we got off the plane. We got all our luggage. He picked us up. The end.

Thanks for praying …

It is with great relief and much thanksgiving that I report that Ben had a better day today. Thanks, all, for your prayers and encouragement.

Soundbite: Ben

Then there was this today …

“Mommy, I’m going to hide your Mother’s Day present under my bed, so don’t look under my  bed.”  🙂

Bring the rain

It’s 5 a.m. My eyes drift closed, and I will sleep to come and tears to go. Memories of the past day run through my mind, and I breathe a big sigh. Ben’s movements, causing his body to lock up at times and stop breathing for a few seconds. The moms at swimming lessons laughing at his strange arm twists when he’s on the diving board. My relief that he can walk on the diving board without falling off, given his contortions. His grunts and grimaces. His wild eyes and rambling talk. My having to help him dress, and brush his teeth, and wash his hair. Trying to hug him and feeling his limp, then stiff body in my arms. Visions come of the days ahead, and I push  back the nausea. With every breath, I beg God to heal my boy. I know He can, but I believe He won’t. Has hope died?

We’re losing him. I feel like I’m chasing a piece of confetti in a tornado, trying to hold on to him, to keep him with us. The days seem so dark. I lie in bed, asking God for something from His Word, something comforting. Psalm 23 comes to mind in a way it never has before: “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me. Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”  And I think of MercyMe’s song “Bring the Rain”: Maybe since my life was changed/Long before these rainy days/It’s never really ever crossed my mind/To turn my back on you, oh Lord/My only shelter from the storm/But instead I draw closer through these times ….

I’m thankful for a shelter in this storm. I can’t imagine facing it alone. And I’m thankful for that new body Ben will receive one day, whole and healthy. I’m thankful for family and friends who love us and worry about us and care for us. I’m thankful for a righteous mate who walks steadfastly by my side, and a sweet little girl who makes each new day a beautiful adventure.

Bring the Rain

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I’ve gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It’s never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there’ll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that’s what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what’s a little rain
So I pray

Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty