We had a nice day out at our field trip to Dinosaur World yesterday. I didn’t realize that the Dinosaur World in Cave City, near my hometown, is part of a sort of chain of Dinosaur Worlds. So Ben has been to two out of three of them now. 
He really enjoyed this field trip. I know it’s hard to believe, but he nearly talked my ear off about all the dinosaur placards he read. Both kids (and me, too!) enjoyed a leisurely day hanging out with friends.
Fossil dig
It took a while, but Emma’s room is pretty much done. I think all I need to find is a seat for her vanity. Now, I readily acknowledge that I am not creative. That said, with a lot of help from Pinterest, Craigslist, Ikea, and some good ol’ manual labor, we have a room that I really like and that came in under budget.
Jared, Ben, Emma and I put on two coats of primer and two coats of paint to cover the bright orange and red that the walls were to begin with. Canopy and light are courtesy of Ikea. The nightstand was a Craigslist find, along with the dresser and mirror. The beadboard is actually wallpaper from homedepot.com. Thanks for putting it up, Mom!
Dresser, mirror and nightstand from Craigslist (originally Haverty’s) for $100. Yay!
I spray painted a gold mirror white, then added a glaze to antique it. Dad made the vanity, which she uses both as a spot to do her hair and as a desk to do Play Doh and schoolwork. I hung a fold-away towel rack on the wall for her necklaces and bracelets, and covered an oatmeal container to make a headband holder with storage inside for barrettes, etc.
I got Emma some canvases and let her create some artwork to hang above her bed. She’s all about peace signs and butterflies.
I saw this on Pinterest and asked Dad to make one for all Emma’s “friends.” It turned out great! It’s hanging by her bed so she can easily switch out bunkmates.
So there we go. I’m hoping this is a room that will grow with her. I seriously do not like painting. 
Now to plan Ben’s room ….
We went on a field trip to Legoland this week with some of our new friends from P.E. class. What a fun day! The kids loved it. Most of the rides there were perfect for my kids – not too crazy scary, but with enough action to make them scream a time or two. The crowds were small and the weather was beautiful (though hot!!). For $5 admission, I couldn’t have asked for more. 
(Tabby Ryan, this princess reminded me so much of you!)
Emma and her friend Megan
You know I had to visit New York!
Good girl, Emma – check your light before you go!
A double-decker carousel – how cool!
Emma and her friend Ibis (photo by Heidi Harrill Mattson)
(photo by Heidi Harrill Mattson)
Ahh, fall. My favorite season. While we don’t get to enjoy the changing leaves or frosty mornings our northern friends do, we do get a break from the stifling heat and humidity. It’s a simple thing, but just being able to turn off the air conditioner and throw open the windows makes me happy.
Last weekend, we went to a weiner roast at our friends’ house. Can’t go wrong with s’mores and hot dogs! It was such a pleasant evening out.
Cookies I made for the weiner roast. Cute, right? Found ‘em on Pinterest.
A few nights later, we had a fun night out at Mom and Dad’s house for Halloween. Pizza, dressing up, and candy!
This summer, Emma decided to save her money to buy an iPad. She had some great saving techniques for a seven year old. One of my favorites was when we’d be heading to Target or Wal-Mart, and she’d tell me, “I’m going to leave my money at home, in case I’m tempted to buy something at the store.” Such wisdom! I should take notes. After taking on extra jobs around the house, dog-walking for her vacationing grandparents, and pooling her regular allowances and birthday money, she had enough to buy the iPad in early September. Impressive!!
A couple of weeks ago, she came to me and asked how long it would take her to save $40. I did the math with her: She gets an allowance of $10 once every two weeks. We’ve taught the kids to immediately put 10% into an envelope for church and 10% into an envelope for savings (an emergency fund), so that leaves $8 every two weeks. That means it would take five allowances, or 10 weeks, to save $40. She looked disappointed. I asked what she wanted to buy that costs $40, and she told me that she wants to give $40 to the church. I kept digging to try to understand why she wanted to give that amount, since she already tithes from her regular allowance, but she just said that’s what she wants to do. She asked if I had any extra jobs that I would pay her to do, and I told her I’d give it some thought. (She already has regular chores that she is expected to do without payment, so I had to try to think of something additional that needed to be done.)
A few days later, she came to me and asked if it is hot in Florida in the fall. I told her that it is hot at the beginning, but then it cools off and is nice enough for us to open the windows. I thought we were having a weather discussion. She pouted a little, and said that she’d hoped it would be really hot, so that she could set up a lemonade stand to make money toward her $40 goal. My heart melted … she’s trying so hard to think of ways to make money. It’s not easy to do when you’re eight years old!
The next day, I took her and Ben on errands with me. Because they were so well-behaved, I told them I’d take them to stores to spend their birthday gift cards. When we got to Emma’s store, we checked the balance on her card and found she had a little over $11 left. She had some cash with her, too, as I’d just given them that week’s allowance. She found two things that she really wanted, but the total came to a little over $12. She could have used her cash and her gift card and bought both. She froze in the middle of the aisle to think, and I saw a determined look come over her sweet little face as she announced, “No. I’ll get the fingernail polish, but that’s all. I need my money for church.”
Last Saturday night, as she was getting ready for bed, she stopped to count 
her money. She has a cash-register bank that will only open once the total gets to $10, and it had about $4 in it. She wanted to add that $4 to her running total, but she only had bills, which the register won’t accept. She asked if I could trade some quarters for her $1 bills so she could feed the register and open it up. I rounded up 24 quarters and traded them for her six $1 bills, and she happily fed the register. After she got it open, she counted her money again. She had a little over $36. She was so disappointed. She begged me to think of a job she could do before church the next morning that would earn her $4.
I didn’t have any $4 jobs. I thought about suggesting she just give the $36, but the $40 is obviously important to her. She’s still hitting me up for work. Today, she offered to water my flowers, since it didn’t rain today. I told her that I thought the nine inches of rain over the weekend had taken good care of the flowers. This Friday is allowance day, though, and she’s so excited that she’ll make her goal then. I believe God is going to really bless this gift – and its giver. I just hope the folks who collect the offerings don’t mind a looootttt of coins.
Eight years ago today, I met our daughter for the first time. I was a little shell-shocked, after the summer we’d had. I kind of wish I could go back and do it again, now that I know everything turned out ok.
A month before Emma was born, we had left a hospital empty-handed. I had spent the morning staring at the Labor and Delivery doors, wishing I could walk through and claim my child. It turns out, the child wasn’t there. And she wasn’t mine. We’d been deceived, and our hearts were broken.
We went home to a Pepto-pink little nursery with a closet full of ruffles. Bottles and diapers stood at the ready. But there was no one to fill the crib. I locked the door and didn’t to go in for a couple of weeks. While we mourned what we had lost, we continued to hope in God. I was re-reading our newsletter from that time, in which we cited Jeremiah 29:11-13: “For I know the plans I have for you,’” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” I went on to write, “Jeremiah 29:11 has been my life verse. Without the Lord, there is just no hope. But when we walk with Him, we have not only hope in our future, but joy in the journey, as well. I’ve always focused on verse 11, but today I realized that verses 11-13 work together. Not only can we trust that the Lord has plans for our future, and that He is incapable of harming us, but when we trust in that, in times like these, we find ourselves seeking Him with all our hearts. For when things go wrong, we can run from God or to Him. When we trust that He wants good things for us, we run to Him. When we run to Him, seeking Him, we find Him. We believe that every good and perfect gift comes from Him, and we’re thankful for what we have. We hope that His plans for our future include another child, but we trust in whatever He chooses to give us. We are blessed.”
After a month or so, we decided to call our attorney and ask for the remainder of our retainer back while we regrouped and decided what we wanted to do. So I called the paralegal, who told me that she was on the way to the hospital at that very moment for the delivery of a baby girl whose birth mother had not selected a family for her yet. She wanted to know if we were interested. I told her that we were. I think I was in shock a bit. She showed our profile and several others to the birth mother. We got the call the next day that she had selected us. I know better. The Lord had selected us to be Emma’s family, long before she was even born.
We were on the road the next day to meet the birth mother and then to meet Emma. I realized later how every little thing really had been orchestrated by God. We learned we would have a baby girl a day before we got her, and yet her room and bottles and diapers and dresses were all ready and waiting for her. More than that, though, he orchestrated our family. Each of its members is not here by chance. He knit our unit together as much as He knit each of us individuals together. Each one of us brings a different color and texture to the family, and it is a thing of beauty.
My daughter is an exceptionally sweet and clever little girl. She’s sensitive to others, thoughtful, and conscientious. She’s happy and bubbly, healthy and strong. I love her more than I ever imagined I could, and I thank God every day for bringing us together.
Meeting day
Birthday girl
Working on her cake
YUM!! Crushed Oreos, hot fudge sauce, cookies-and-cream ice cream, Cool Whip and Oreo Mix-Ins. (Thanks again for the recipe, Rachel!)
Making flip-flop cookies (woo hoo Pinterest!) for her slumber party
Love these girls!
Tonight, weather-permitting, is the kids’ last track meet of the year. Emma is elated (track doesn’t agree with her), and Ben is sad. Turns out, he loves track. He has taken to it more than any other sport he has tried. I’ve yet to figure out what it is that gets him so fired up, but I’m glad he enjoys it so much. And I’m glad that I let him talk me into signing him up.
Last year, Emma ran track, but Ben didn’t because he was recovering from pneumonia. This year, he insisted that he wanted to run, too. I had my misgivings, in most part due to his vision impairment. I couldn’t imagine how he would be able to see the lane markings and coaches, let alone the hurdles and finish lines. What I’ve learned from watching him this spring is that I can’t let his limitations limit him. He certainly doesn’t.
On our way to practice a couple of days ago, he insisted that he wanted to read a book to us. He struggled through a couple of paragraphs and gave up. I asked if it was because of his eyes, and he said no, that it was because of the car. Then he sighed and said, “Yes, it’s my eyes.” Once we got to practice and he’d been running a while, he came to me, saying that he was having asthma pain. I got his inhaler and gave him a dose, and he took off back to the field. I tried to get him to sit and let the medicine take effect, but he insisted that he was fine and that he didn’t want to miss the next race.
My instincts have told me to replace all his paper books with audio books. But he wants to keep trying to read paper ones. My instincts told me to have him sit out the rest of practice, for fear his asthma would get worse. But he wanted to practice. My instincts told me to not sign him up for track to begin with. But he wanted to try. My instincts would have held him back. But he wanted to run.
And while he isn’t fast – finishing last almost every time – he is happy to run and finish and hear us cheering him on. He has surprised me, too, with some of the things he has done, like running up and down the bleachers with his team and jumping hurdles. I imagine that’s tough to do when you can’t see much.
So I’m trying to take this lesson to heart. He has hurdles – literal and figurative ones – to cross … but don’t we all? I hope I encourage and compel him to do whatever he wants to do in life. No excuses. No holding back. And I hope to throw off some excuses of my own and tackle some of my own hurdles, while I’m at it. “… let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” - Hebrews 12:1
(Ben is the kid in the green shirt on the left)
<While I’m cutting raw chicken for dinner>
Emma: Mommy, where does chicken come from?
Me: Where would you think chicken would come from?
Emma: Cows?
Me: Nooo ….
Emma: Pigs?
Me: Nooooo….. Emma, where would CHICKEN come from?
Emma: I don’t know!
Me: Chicken comes from … chickens. Just like turkey comes from turkeys.
Emma: Ohhhh (and I hear the lightbulb click on)
“He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. PRAISE THE LORD.” Psalm 113:9
Each year, as Mother’s Day approaches, I can’t help but look back over the journey of faith this day has marked. Jared and I decided two months after we were married – 18 years ago! – that we were ready for children. For virtually all of our marriage, we’ve wanted a family. For years we tried to get pregnant. We saw doctors, endured tests and procedures, and prayed. But we remained childless.
During that time, I began to question God’s involvement in my life. Being a mom was so important to me, something I thought about every single day. If God loved me, I wondered, why wouldn’t He give me a child? Didn’t the Bible say that He “gives good gifts to those who ask Him” (Matthew 7:11)? With a critical eye I looked around and saw that He was NOT giving me the good gift I was asking for, yet He WAS giving children to women and girls all around me – those who wanted children and those who didn‘t. I just couldn’t understand His ways.
We went to church those Mother’s Days, but each year, the services grew more and more difficult to sit through. Regardless of the church we attended, each one – and rightly so – recognized all the mothers. Each year I became more and more aware that women were standing all around me, being hailed as “Proverbs 31 women,” while I sat there, wondering what I had done wrong, or what I hadn’t done right. Around the fifth Mother’s Day of our marriage, I just didn’t go to church on that day.
During the next year, though, I believe God began to answer my questions. As I pressed the Lord for answers, this is what my heart heard: “I am not a kidnapper.” Confused, I listened further. “There is no ransom you have to pay to make me release your child.” I realized then that that was how I thought this worked. I thought that if I confessed something or did something or stopped doing something, I could earn a child from the Lord. What I understood from this point on was that He just doesn’t work that way. That is manipulative and merciless, neither of which fit His character. I began to realize that He is worthy of my praise, not because of what He gives me, but because of who He really is. He is always holy; He is always just; He never changes. Regardless of what I believe I deserve, or what I want, His ways are perfect. And I began to trust in His character.
Eventually, we made the decision to adopt. We were chosen by a birth mother who not only chose to give her firstborn to us so that he could have a better life than she could provide, but she also asked me to be her Lamaze coach and to be in the delivery room. I knew Ben while he was still in his mother’s womb, and other than doctors and nurses, I was the first person to hold him. It was an amazing experience.
About four years later, we decided to adopt again, and were again quickly matched with a birth mother. That adoption fell through. While we were crushed, it was the lesson I’d learned about God’s character that allowed me to trust Him through that experience. I knew, even though my heart was broken, that He had a plan for us, and that I could trust in His ways. A month later, we received a call that Emma was in the process of being delivered, and that we might be chosen by the birth mother to adopt her. We prayed and hoped through the next day, trusting that God would give us the child He had planned for us, if any. We got the call the next night, and picked up Emma the day after that.
Like all mothers, I will tell you that my children are gifts from God. But I will also tell you that the love of God is a testimony unto itself, and does not require children or anything else to represent itself. He is holy, He is just, and He never changes. Folks tell me sometimes that our children are lucky to have been adopted into our family. I don’t often think of it that way, as I marvel at how blessed I am to have been chosen to be their mommy. And now on Mother’s Day, I can humbly stand and praise God not only for my children, but also for His love and goodness to us.
I had great plans for this Easter. We had worked our way through the book of Matthew in school this year, and the timing worked out great for us to read the crucifixion and resurrection passages the week before Easter. The kids had watched The Jesus Film for kids; we had read The Legend of the Three Trees; we had colored eggs; I had braided Emma’s hair up all pretty; everyone’s Easter outfits were ironed and ready; we’d accepted an invitation to an Easter lunch at good friends’ house after church; and I was really looking forward to celebrating the Resurrection at church. Then, the night before, I got hit with a stomach bug that left me out of commission for all of Easter. Boo! I missed the whole day. (Photo credit: Jared was kind enough to take pictures of the kids hunting eggs in the back yard for me while I slept.)
